Author of Book on Addiction Struggles with Relapse

Author of Book on Addiction Struggles with Relapse
April 17, 2009

News Summary

Nic Sheff has written a highly regarded book on addiction but is still waging a very public battle with relapse, CNN reported April 16.

Sheff's book, "Tweak," details the personal costs incurred by the author's addiction to crack, heroin, methamphetamine, and other drugs. His father, David, earlier wrote a book describing his experience in dealing with Nic's addiction to methamphetamine, called, "Beautiful Boy."

Nic Sheff, 26, got clean and wrote his book, but relapsed last May and again in October. "I am isolated, alone, disgusted with everything and, most especially, myself," Scheff recently wrote to CNN. "I am filled to overflowing with pain and torment and weight."

Sheff said the relapses were due to a breakup with his girlfriend and struggles with his bipolar disorder. He said he started using prescription drugs and smoking marijuana because, "I just felt like I needed relief so badly."

"Relapse is certainly sometimes part of the disease process," said Kevin Clark, medical director at Hazelden. "Our figures are about 53 percent to 56 percent of patients remain abstinent for a year."

Sheff's battle with addiction, described in the book, led to homelessness and street crime. Repeated tries at treatment eventually led to recovery.

The author described the latest relapse as a downward spiral. "I was like, well, I've already relapsed so I might as well take these, and then when once I was taking those, I was like, well, I might as well go get pot from this guy," he said.

Eventually, he got back into treatment and moved to a sober home. "I was trying to do it on my own and be really strong on my own, and if this process has taught me anything, it's that I really have to reach out to other people for help," he said. "I really struggle with it. I wish I didn't struggle with it, because I see it work for so many people, and I'm very envious of people's ability to be so swept up in it and have it help them so much."

"I have a disease, and my brain is different than other people's, and that's really nothing to be ashamed of," Sheff said, adding: "I think I can be someone who no longer uses drugs."

COMMENTS ON THIS ARTICLE:

Posted by Peter on 18 Apr 09 02:02 AM EDT

The two things that really stand out for me here are doing it on his own and being really strong on his own. To me addiction is largely a result of isolating to the point of no longer being a member of the human race. My choice to do so began at age eleven with intangable addictions so that, when I got heavily involved with substances at seventeen, I had developed my isolation and, attempts to stop just showed how much I was behind my peers in emotional growth. Every attempt that depended on will power showed me to be ever further behind. Only by realizing that I was not stronger than addiction and by getting others to interact with could I again start growing emotionally made true recovery possible. Accepting growth as a process helped me to avoid being disappointed at not finding a "quick fix."

Posted by Kim on 18 Apr 09 06:20 PM EDT

As the parent of a recovering addict, it broke my heart to hear of Nic Sheff's latest relapse. It also makes me very aware that addiction is a constant battle that affects so many including the families and friends of addicts. Kudos to Nic for finally reaching out for help and for his honesty in dealing with his addiction. As a Christian, I wish him peace and grace from a God who is indeed willing and able to provide it.

Posted by Fred on 20 Apr 09 08:24 AM EDT

As someone who has been sober for 19+ years, his repeated relapses sound to me like an untreated addiction. Not trying to sound over-critical here, but if one doesn't get to the root causes, then sadly once can't honestly recover. Addiction is a disease of isolation that wants me dead, if it can't have that it will settle for misery.

Posted by Attraction Not Promotion on 20 Apr 09 10:38 AM EDT

There is another point to be expressed here - anonymity and humility. Ego and recovery are like oil and water. Sometimes, actually most often, the price for fame (published book about "me") can be death for an addict. I would hope that he can take the lime light off "him" and focus on learning how to live recovery, not write about it. Basically Nic, get over yourself and get clean. There is a solution. It works, it really does.

Posted by lisaf-breakingthecycles on 20 Apr 09 11:11 AM EDT

To struggle with addiction and bi-polar has to be incredibly difficult -- one of these illnesses would be enough. But, when you have two that are both working on the brain and it's "thinking," emotion, pleasure/reward neural connections, it has got to be especially difficult. I admire him for speaking out about his struggles. Just as with other diseases/addictions over the years (HIV/Aids, Cancer, smoking), talking about it freed all of us to better deal with ways to fight it - such as fund raising for research and better educational programs and treatment approaches.

Posted by rj on 20 Apr 09 12:21 PM EDT

I am so sorry to hear about Nic`s relapse. I work in a juvenile diversion program and have used Nic`s book many times! Hang in there and don`t give up!!!

Posted by Nick Barry on 20 Apr 09 01:05 PM EDT

First things first is what I say. Addiction is a hard thing to recover from but it can happen. Sometimes we substitute with other substances with a bad outcome. Sometimes we put off what has to be done. As was mentioned the disease is alone the cure is we.

Posted by Been there on 20 Apr 09 02:01 PM EDT

"Attraction not Promotion" really nailed it. Relapse isn't necessary, but real humility is and there's a very successful way to reach such humility that doesn't include relapse that started in the mid-1930’s. Nic, and his family, need to get out of the lime light and take care of business. The more recovery is portrayed in the media (in treatment, Intervention, ghost-authored bios, etc,) the more those that really need help get sidetracked by convoluted and misguided interpretations of the recovery process. These efforts may be well-intentioned, but all I’m seeing are more barriers to recovery.

Posted by Gail Kross on 20 Apr 09 03:08 PM EDT

As a drug/alcohol counselor I encourage my clients to write about their disease and share what they wrote to me or if we are in a group setting to share their feelings with the group (only if they want to.). To write about your disease makes it real, especially if you can share this with another soul. What is the difference if he writes about himself and shares this with the world? He may hit home with teenages who can relate to what he is going through. As a person in recovery for 13 years, I find sharing what I am going through helps....

Posted by Peggy on 20 Apr 09 06:50 PM EDT

I use both books to educate Judges about addiction and recovery. I lost my father and sister to addiction and encourage Nic to continue treatment, support groups and writing. He needs to know how much he has helped others struggling with addiction.

Posted by Susan B on 21 Apr 09 12:04 AM EDT

I notice that untreated trauma is not mentioned as a primary driver in the cycle of addiction and relapse. Co-occurring disorders (a mental disorder and addiction together), such as Bipolar disorder and chemical dependency, are even tougher to treat but there is hope. New trauma treatments such as EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), Somatic Experiencing (SE) bring new hope to the treatment of addiction. I have been treating addiction and trauma for many years. I have met trauma survivors that did not end up with addiction, but I have never met a single addict that did not have a trauma history. Untreated traumas (large and small) are like a pilot light that keeps the flame of addiction ever- lit. It is my hope that Nic and all others suffering from addiction will learn about the role that untreated trauma plays in maintaining that vicious cycle of self-hatred, guilt, shame, and using substances and other behaviors to numb that pain. There is help out there.....

Posted by Amanda on 21 Apr 09 03:20 PM EDT

I don't understand the hostility coming from "Been There" and "Attraction not Promotion." This young man, like so many others struggling with addiction, relapsed. Why do you get to judge him and his path? He's publicly sharing his struggle and the last time I checked, this was a pretty good way to reduce the stigma of addiction as a disease! Save your judgments and try to promote support and education.

Posted by JD Anticoli on 24 Apr 09 06:58 PM EDT

Give up the story. The story about "you", the story about "me", "my story", "your story". The story is the imposter- self sneaking in through recovery's back door. Nothing good nor true comes from man's proprium. Good is from Goodness; not from you and not from me. I am this, I am that, "I have ten years, how many do you have?" Instead, try simply...I Am. The biggest obstacle to living the 12-steps is thinking that "You" or "I" are in there somewhere. I once heard someone say--the biggest obstacle to Christianty is Christians. The clay pot "Is" because of the empty space within.

Posted by mhb on 03 May 09 08:26 PM EDT

Hi Nic, I am glad you are alive and back on the road to happy destiny. Hang in there! Nic, I also hear unidentified issues in your discription of your relapse. The real reason addicts relapse is because they have a disease of denial and relapse called addiction. Right? The disease says, "You have to use because of x." But non-addicts who experience x, who even suffer the same pain from x, do not have to abuse substances. For you to think you had to use because of the pain of your break-up, tells me your chemical addiction is probably fused with your relationship development issues, and may indicate a relationship or love addiction as well. When two addictions feed each other or are fused with each other, we call it "addiction interaction disorder." I hope your relapse helps you in the long run, and others who have heard about it. I look forward to hearing how you share your story when you are further along in your recovery. Peace, Mavis Mavis Humes Baird, CASAC, CMAT-S, CSAT-S, ICADC NYC

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